This #motherrunner is going to change the world!
Being pregnant gives you so much time to reflect on EVERYTHING. Especially when you are embarking on this whole new journey of finding the balance between giving yourself to your child and your family and also making sure you don't lose yourself in the process. This has been a huge concern of mine, I'm just going to be honest. I day dream about what being a mom will be like, and have realizations on a daily basis that involve how much selflessness and scheduling it takes to be great at it. I throw myself into everything I do and go 100%, and with motherhood, I can see myself doing the same thing. I have always felt like my most important job in this life would be raising children who put good into this world and who loved Jesus with all of their hearts, and these days, that is a huge undertaking by itself.
Disclaimer: I am afraid I am going to lose myself in the process of being a momma, and I feel like that would be a huge disservice to my sweet girl.
Let me tell you why. I have always had huge goals and dreams. Whether they seem tangible to others or not. I have always had this yearning to change the world (or at least my world or community), and I don't want that to change when I become a mom. In our society today, you have kids and then your big dreams make you seem goofy to others, which in turn makes you feel insecure for having them in the first place. Which makes no sense what so ever! Think about it: we raise our children to have confidence in themselves, to follow their dreams (whatever they are), to make them believe they are capable of anything! Then society tells them that was all fine and good until you have a child, then your dreams don't matter anymore, only your children's dreams do. Well...if everyone believed that, then we would never get anywhere. It would be a continuous circle of broken heartedness and living your life through your child. I'm here to tell you, I refuse to let that be me. I want my daughter to look at me and know that she can follow her dreams, not because I tell her, but because I am doing exactly that.
I am have goals for many areas of my life. Whether it be physical goals or career goals. This blog is being written today because I got deep down in a rabbit hole on instagram in the hashtag #motherrunner. I know that might sound goofy, but seeing all of these women be relentless in the pursuit of their training and goals got me even more excited to start training again after Clarke is here. Not just for me, but for her. I am my best self when I am setting goals for myself and working towards them. That huge part of me won't change once she is here, if anything, I will be even more driven because I want to set a great example for her.
My emotions have been ebbing and flowing throughout pregnancy on how I am going to juggle this crazy life that I want for myself. This is the best I have come up with so far.
I am going to give myself grace, but I am not going to give up on the things that are important to me. I have big plans for my business and for the podcast I co-host. I have big plans for my ultra running comeback and I know that all of this is possible. I am surrounding myself with a network of people who believe in me and who remind me of this when I forget and who keep pushing me to stay tough!
So... I know this is super random, but I wanted to share with any other moms who have this same fear and needed some motivation today! We don't have to lose ourselves, if anything we get the privilege of being the best role models for the next generation to come! Mommas change the world and we are doing it every day!
Shout out to my momma for completely making me believe I was a real life super hero my entire life.
With love and many miles,